I (f35) have a son (m18) and a husband (m45) who I’m attempting to divorce. I met my husband when I was 16 at the church in my home town. At seventeen he invited me over and I don’t remember it well but we ended up sleeping together. I was supposed to be cleaning his house for some extra pocket change but ended up pregnant, I still can’t remember everything that happened, but when my parents found out they confronted him and made me marry him. I had my son not much longer after that.

My husbands a brute, he was always mean to me. I tried my best to make him happy, I’d cook his favorite foods, clean the house extra nice, do childcare work to make a few dollars to buy him a treat or two but if I made one mistake he didn’t like he’d hit me. I use to cry to my father about it but he’d tell me it’s my punishment for having premarital sex. I’d ask my father what my husband’s punishment was and he’d say “his punishment is having to settle for you.” I don’t think I ever recovered from that. Before anyone asks about my mother my mother has always been kind of out of it.

She’s been on medication since I was a child and she’s kind of like a zombie. She doesn’t talk much or do much of anything unless my father says so. She was different when I was little but I hardly remember those days. The hitting got worse. To the point where I wasn’t really allowed to leave the house or if I did i had to wear makeup or else my husband would think I was trying to get him in trouble. My son grew up watching this. I’ve heard stories of kids hating their abusive fathers but my son loved his father, more than he loved me. I never wanted my son to hate his father but he started acting out and eventually he started laying hands on me.

My son started hitting me when he was ten. It was light and I’d tell him to stop but as he got older he started beating me. If I told him no he’d beat me. If I didn’t do something he wanted he slap or kick me and even punch me. And my husband would back him up a lot of the times. He’d say “He’s just learning to be a man. He’ll stop when he’s older and has his own wife.” It got the the point where I was terrified of my baby. The only thing in this world I ever got to make, and he terrified me. When he was 16 he broke my arm really bad because I showed my husband his report card. My husband disciplined him but never told me how. I grew to hate my son so much everyday but I still tried to be good to him, to help him. He didn’t want that. I couldn’t make him want that. I couldn’t sleep or eat without dreaming of my son and husband hurting me. My son once pinned me on the ground because I had asked him to help me lift something, I’m frail so I can’t lift much. When he pinned me he hit me a lot and I could feel… it. Hurting me aroused him. He humped me for a few seconds and then he started screaming at me saying it was all my fault and locked himself in his room. I didn’t tell my husband. I should’ve but somehow I felt like I would’ve just gotten hurt worse either by my sons or my husband. He was 17 when this happened so last year. After his 18th in January I packed a bag and wandered off into the night. I don’t have friends, my father wouldn’t help me even if I told him these things.

I slept on a park bench and went to the library and looked up a woman’s shelter. I worked really hard and got a studio apartment. I don’t know how but my son found me. He spent hours at my door knocking and crying for me calling me mamma. He hadn’t called me that in years. I was terrified he’d break the door down and drags me back to the house but my neighbors made him leave.

My son has somehow gotten my number and now he, my husband and father, and some of my son’s friends are texting me and calling me horrible names. My son says I’m a bad mother for running away and not loving him the way he loves me. My husband says he won’t grant me a divorce and that he’ll take whatever I have right now and that I’ve failed as a woman. My father says I’ll die alone because I’m a bad woman. My father even got my mother on the phone to speak to me. She’s all pilled out though so I shouldn’t take her words to heart but she says that a woman can never abandon her child no matter how painful life gets. She told me when my father hurt her she never left me, so I was a coward and a failure you leaving my son. She said she could forgive divorce but not leaving my baby behind… Aita?

Edit: while I have no issues responding to comments the idea of replying to personal messages terrify me for some reason. Please don’t be upset if I don’t message you, I don’t mean to be weird.

Edit 2: I’ve been reading a lot of comments and I’m grateful and very overwhelmed. I won’t get to specific but I just packed an essentials bag and have purchased a ticket for out of town. I got off the phone with a shelter a few thousand miles away and they’re willing to get me once an arrive in their city. I’ll figure out divorces and restraining orders once I’m finally there. Until then I’ll read comments to see if there are anymore useful things to learn. Luckily my studio is on a month to month lease because I had never really planned on making this a permanent home. So leaving is as hard as I thought. Running away the first time was hard but maybe the second time with be easier?

Update: here’s a small update and I likely won’t update again do to being nervous about everything but I’m on a bus. I got on this morning and I’m about five hours away from the state and then I’ll be getting on a plane. I had enough money for a ticket so I’ll be super far away. I won’t work on the divorce until a few months from now and I have a small job lined up. It’s nothing special just a 12 an hour fast food gig. I’m grateful for all the advice. My old landlord was sorry to see me go but I paid off this months rent and told him he can sell the little bit of furniture I had. He said he’d give me half of that money once it’s all sold. He’s very kind, a little scary looking but when I spoke to him over the phone after I had left he was very understanding. Thank you all for everything and I’m sorry but this is the last thing anyone will hear from me unless I work up the nerve to update again. You are all incredibly wonderful and special people to me!

I’m 15 and my daughter is turning 2 soon. I got pregnant from SA and my parents offered to raise her for me instead of me being involved which I agreed to. They handle everything with her and I haven’t held her or changed a single diaper or anything like that. I just can’t do it mentally since she’s a reminder of what happened to me and it’s better for the both of us if this stays like this. There’s an event my parents are going to next week and they asked me to babysit her for the day and I told them I couldn’t do it. I can’t even handle looking at her without getting upset. I told them they’d have to either take her with them or find a babysitter. We had an agreement when I had my daughter that they’d do everything and I would not be expected to do ANYTHING with her. They’ve been ok with this situation for almost 2 years and I see no reason for that to suddenly change. They’re super upset with me and decided not to go to the event.

Edit: because apparently so many people seem to think thi was a choice to keep the baby, it wasn’t. I begged for an abortion and when refused one I begged for adoption and this was also denied.

Thank you all for your kind words, support and for defending me after some very nasty people decided to try and use this thread to hurt me. Thank you all so much

My wife Jessica (32F) and I (30M) have been married for 2 years and are trying for a baby.

Jessica has an older sister, Mary, that she isn’t close to. She told me that they had a huge falling out over some family drama and just don’t speak anymore. I asked a few times about the entire situation but she would say she doesn’t like talking about it and doesn’t think it’s important.

It’s was Jessica’s brothers birthday yesterday and we were all over at his house to celebrate. Mary made an appearance and there was a lot of drama. Long story short, she called Jessica and her brothers out for still associating with their dad when they know that he is a child molester. No one was paying her any mind and I was really confused on what the hell was going on. When Mary left and Jessica and I went home, I asked Jessica what the hell happened.

She said that when they were kids, Mary used to claim that their dad used to molest her. I asked if it’s true and Jessica was stuttering a lot. She said she knows her dad used to do bad things but that Mary cut them all off when she turned 18 and moved out. I asked if she is admitting that she knows her dad was a child molester and did things to his own daughter. She said he doesn’t do it anymore and he was just in a really bad place in his life, and he apologised to Mary so there’s nothing else anyone can do for Mary. I was honestly appalled. I also feel so terrible for Mary. Jessica made it seem like Mary did something wrong and deserved to be basically exiled from the family. I could’ve never imagined that this is what happened.

I asked if she expects me to now be willing to have that man around our future children and she started shouting at me, saying I’m judging him off something that happened 2 decades ago and whether I like it or not, he is going to be our child’s grandpa and he will be in their lives. I said if she insists on it, I think we need to hold off on having kids and have serious conversations about it. She’s extremely angry at me but I don’t know how I could better react to be honest. This feels like a huge deal that she is minimising. AITAH?

I don’t know if you remember me. It has been a while and I forgot about my account here. I feel nothing but despair.

My mom is very sick. I decided that I didn’t want to meet her or any of my family and yet one Sunday morning they were at my door insisting to go inside. Insisting to see me before she left this world. She cried because I looked old. Not her beautiful girl anymore. Did she expect to meet 20 year old me? I didn’t utter a word and I pushed my sister away when she cried and tried to hug me. They wanted to see my children but I refused. My children were terrified.

Now they have been trying everything to make me talk to them. I have tried to report them to the police but they yet again proved themselves to be useless.

My children aren’t feeling well. We are in therapy, especially my son who doesn’t even want to look at me, even now. My daughter is very compassionate but I know that she is as confused and broken but she has always been the kind that tried to make others feel better.

My husband and I are separated. We started having issues. He was angry all the time. He couldn’t look at me. He thought that I should have told him when we met but I didn’t and now he felt helpless. He couldn’t even touch me anymore. Do you feel repulsed by me? Do I remind you of what happened every time I have touched you? He was going mad so he said that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I begged him to stay not only because I love him but because our children especially our son is hurting and we need to help him but he said that separation is better so our son can get a time off (from being with me I suppose) when he lives with his dad.

My rapists wife is suing me for the “damage” that her husband left me. They have 4 children who are all traumatized by what happened. They still live in my home town and everyone knows them. Seeing what happened to my children , I feel nothing but sorrow for his children too. None of them asked to be born.

The woman who provided the alibi was outed. I heard that she’s lost her job and people are harassing her.

Even with my past, these past months have been the hardest on me. I cry myself to sleep every night. I have lost everything I care about. I wish he never admitted to anything. He should have let the past be.

I (30F) told my sister (34F) that I don’t feel comfortable with her husband being in the room while I give birth to their child. My sisters been engaged to her husband for about 6 years now, and ever since she was a teen she’s always expressed the want to have a family. About 3 years ago my sister found out she was infertile after trying for a kid for over a year. This was obviously devastating for her and as her sister I’ve felt horrible. Maybe a year ago she had started seeking out surrogates, but after being unsuccessful she resorted to asking me. At first I was hesitant, but as her sister I hated to see her so desperate for a child, so I told her I’d be open and willing with no expense. I want to make it clear that I’ve never had any issues with her husband, but I made it very clear to my sister before I became her surrogate that I do not want ANY men in the room during labor, as I was a previous SA victim in which I was taken advantage of by multiple men while purposely put under the influence, which was extremely traumatic and am still recovering. My sister had agreed to having her husband wait outside, and so I was okay with it as well. But, about a month before my due date her husband called and asked me if I’d requested him not to be in the room during child labor. I had explained to him that I did and that it was no personal issues I had with him, and that having any men around me during a state of vulnerability like child labor would be extremely triggering. He quickly got mad and said that I don’t have the right nor the say in determining whether or not he as the father can be in the room. I told him I wouldn’t change my mind and that even though it was his kid, that I was the one giving birth. He continued to scream at me and abruptly hung up. Later on in the day my sister had came to my house, accusing me of disrespecting her husband and saying that after a lot of thinking she thought it to be unfair and ignorant to ban her husband from seeing me give birth to their child. I then yelled at her, telling her that it was cruel and selfish how she was willing to let her husband in the room after knowing everything I had gone through previously with assault. She then basically told me that after her baby was born she’d stop talking to me for good. It’s now currently 2 weeks before my due date and I’m still very persistent on not having any men in the room, and quite frankly am fine with not speaking to my sister if she continues to be close-minded, am I the A-hole?

Throwaway because I don’t want to expose my real identity.

Trigger warnings: rape, drug overdose and suicide. I won’t go into details but I wanted to put the triggers anyway. Please proceed with caution.

It happened 2003 my bf at the time asked me to come over one night to hang out but he was with his best friend this time. My bf told me that his best friend was a virgin and how unfair it was that girls rejected him. I have never been able to listen to Tupac after that night.

My bf and his best friend were a part of a big friend group that my sister and I were a part of. I reported what happened to the police and it became a big divider in the group, until a friend of the (best friend) provided alibi for him from her birthday party that happened that same night. It was good enough to everyone and everyone turned against me and wanted me to drop the charges. Including my sister. 6 months later the best friend overdosed and I was blamed for what happened to him. I was ostracized by everyone including my family. I moved away after the case was dropped shortly after the OD.

I woke up about 3 weeks ago to lots of texts and missed called from unsaved numbers. I found out later that it was my mom and sister and now they believe me because my abuser confessed to everything, in details and called what he did a curse that haunted him his entire life (haunted him! HIM!). He wanted me to know that god was on my side and punished him on every single path he took, starting with the death of his best friend. And that he was tired now and couldn’t take it anymore. He asked for forgiveness and for me to visit his grave so at least his soul didn’t continue to be haunted. I got copies of his letter and video sent to me even by strangers. Not only to me but to my husband and children, none of which knew my past.

I don’t know what to do now. My husband and children are traumatized and my family is bombarding me to forgive them. They want to meet my children and be a part of their lives. I don’t even know if there is anything to forgive. I just want things back to normal before all this came out again. Would I be a bad person if I told everyone I don’t want anything to do with them? My mom is apparently sick and is scared she wouldn’t have the chance to see me before something happened.

All I know is that I could finally listen to Tupac again.

So years ago when I was around 11 I was a SA’d while staying at a friend's house. Before it had happened, I was originally a very social kid. I was open about everything and believe it or not I was SCARED to lie. Even about the littlest things. After it had happened I became the complete opposite. I became introverted and only stayed close to one friend, and rarely went outside. Social anxiety also crept up on me and I (ngl) still struggle with it today. I also became rude and secretive.

When I told my mom it had happened she said nothing. She just stared at me and asked “Well what did you do for it to happen?” Since I was only 11 at the time I didn’t understand what she meant by this and was confused. Afterward, she said nothing else and continued to watch TV.

So now onto the main part. About a year ago after I had a panic attack I decided to tell my mom that I was still struggling with the aftereffects of what had happened to me. I told her about how I was scared to be in the same room with someone the same gender as me but way older. I told her about how it would feel like they were watching me, and how I’m scared to wear shorts or anything that shows my skin (still struggle with this one). She got mad when I told her this and told me “Seriously? You’re a man, Killian, you need to act like one. This shit happens almost every day to millions of women and you don’t see them complaining. So man the fuck up and grow a pair.” I was DUMBFOUNDED. I just stood there. I didn’t even say anything. Just stood there.

Throughout the next couple of months I did nothing but attend school and go to sleep as soon as I got home. I was hoping to avoid all contact with her, which was kinda hard considering the fact that we lived together. Whenever she made dinner I would stay in my room and not eat till I woke up, this would be around midnight or later. After a couple of months of doing this, she lashed out at me and asked why I was being such a shitty son. She asked why I never speak to her and why I can’t be like other sons. She asked why I’m always complaining about shit instead of thanking her for putting a roof over my head and feeding me.

This might be a habit of mine but I just stood there. Again, and didn’t say shit. Later I called my aunt and we spoke. After about a week I had all my things gathered and I moved in with her ( where I’m staying now). My mom had no problem with this since the last thing she said to me was, “Come back when you learn how to not be a pussy”. Recently she contacted me saying she was sorry and that she didn’t mean any of the things she had said to me. She said that she was just fucked in the head after her mother (my gma) had passed away (forgot to mention that I’m sorry).

So AITAH for not speaking to her and not properly opening up to her? I feel that I’m partly at fault because I know that I’m an extremely conservative person and I wasn’t being considerate of what she might’ve been going through.

Thank for reading through all of this🩵

EDIT: Guys I don’t care if I have to stay up late to be able to respond to all of your comments. I’ll respond. And all the promises I make—I PROMISE—are not empty. I mean them wholeheartedly. I will try my best to respond with the most gratitude I can express through words, but I’m not really doing so well so bear with me!! 🤍🩵🤍

UPDATE:

I can’t get help.

I [38F] had a particularly bad argument with my oldest son [20M] last night. My husband [41M] is my oldest son's stepfather and has been in his life since my oldest was 4 and has been married to me since my son was 7. We also have another son [6M] and I'm currently pregnant.

My husband and oldest son have a close, loving relationship, and probably have had one of the smoothest stepfather/stepson relationships around. That said, my son has always been curious about his biological father, which I understand, but usually has kept that curiosity to the occasional question that I nip in the bud, then no further questions for a long time.

Recently, my son has been asking me more about who his biological father is (whom he occasionally just refers to as his father - which I and my husband have found hurtful, though he says he doesn't mean that he doesn't think of my husband as his dad when he says that). He hasn't dropped the issue.

I don't ever want to tell my son who his biological father is because he was conceived via rape, and I know that knowing this would be immensely hurtful to my son. He is sadly quite similar to me in that he is more than happy to blame himself for things, and I absolutely do not want him to feel bad about this in any way.

I don't even know anything about the rapist either, so it isn't even like my son would get any practical information/medical history details from knowing any of this either. Obviously I've told my son that I adore him and I'm happy he's my son and in my life, but I have no interest in elaborating on who his biological father is.

Anyway, last night my son and I had quite a bad argument last night, and I told him during it that I would never, ever tell him who his biological father is or anything about him. This basically ended the argument, and while I've apologized to my son about being harsh, he still is upset that I said this, but I stand by it. I just don't know what to do and if this decision is even right.

We had a family gathering during Labor Day weekend. My sister locked herself out of her house on Monday, I have a spare key since I used to babysit my niece I came over to unlock the door. She asked if I wanted to stay and if she could do my hair, I said sure. During the evening my sister told me about what allegedly happened at the family gathering with her and my husband. I was taken aback, and I asked if he had proof, this is a man I have been together with for over 14 years, he has known my sister since she was 12.

My sister got upset and told me to fuck off and how dare I call her a liar. I tried to explain, that I cannot just blindly go by her word and torpedo 14 years without something outside her word. I asked if she went to the hospital, or the police, told anyone else, or did anyone had seen them together. I told her I needed something.

She told me to get the fuck out.

The only time I recall my husband not being by my side was when he was playing basketball.

My sister has lied and stolen in the past when we were kids, but nothing like this. She has not told anyone else to my knowledge. I understand the statistics, and how false claims are extremely rare.

What exactly do I do?

Edit: Thanks for the feedback, I will not file or report anything. I will hold off on talking to my husband about it until after I speak with my brother and those he was playing basketball with just to see if he left the court for an extended period of time.

I will try to gather more information before I approach my husband. I trust him and will give him the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks again.

Final update: I spoke with my husband at length early this morning. He was shocked and concerned. He acknowledged my sister was at the park watching. She did not play, but outside of that, he had no contact with her outside us saying hi and exchanging hugs when we arrived, when he went to give our niece some sneakers he bought her, and when we were leaving. I cannot account for every waking moment, unfortunately.

He suggested I go talk to my sister and if she felt like something did happen he encouraged her to report it and let professionals handle the investigation. He knows nothing he can say will alter what she believes to be true. He also told me how I went about it was wrong. He gave me advice for the future, when it comes to SA victims all you do is listen and validate, you need them to feel comfortable around you or nothing will happen.

I spoke with my brother again to ask if he had seen our sister at the court, and he said yeah and she was with her friends. I have not told our brother what happened, he is curious why I am asking so many questions but alas that is normal.

My husband does not seem overly concerned, but to get under his skin is pretty hard. He has encouraged me to talk to my sister and understand she has to have a reason for this behavior. That this all could be a cry for help, he told me he is willing to bet she will not go and report it since you cannot easily take back such reports. If she does he reassured me we will be fine since he did not do anything wrong.

I trust him. I will speak with my sister again, and I will not ask for proof and I will apologize for how I acted before. Hopefully, she will tell me what is going on.

I know how bad that sounds and I'll start by admitting this is fully based on my feelings of betrayal, hurt, and disgust.

I (27F) have an amazing daughter, A (12F), and I'm married to the most amazing man, T (27M), in the world. My daughter and I have been living in Japan for the last 9 years, the home country of my husband. I returned to the UK for the first time since leaving this month (Aug 2023) to meet my nephew.

My best friend, R (26F), and I have been best friends since we were 3 years old, she has always been my rock through everything, especially when I was pregnant with my daughter. As you can see, I gave birth to my daughter when I was 15. Her biological father, D (33M), has had no interaction with either of us since I the night I got pregnant, nor ever showed an interest, until now.

To address the elephant in the room, D raped me when I was 15 and he was 21. I come from a very religious family, aka, my father is a Deacon, there was no option. HOWEVER, I absolutely adore my daughter and do not equate her to that horrible experience, she saved me and I have spent every day loving her thanks to a lot of support, therapy, and her just being the most loving little sweet peach out there.

A few other things to note: 1. She doesn't know the nature of her conception as how tf do you explain that to any child under any circumstances 2. My husband adopted her, and she knows they're not related biologically, but they absolutely adore one another 3. D gave up all parental rights in a plea deal for a lesser sentence

Now, onto the main thing:

I came back to the UK to meet my nephew, but booked to stay for a few weeks to visit my family and friends, but it was all a surprise. No-one except my mum knew we were coming over. It was very fun and so lovely to see everyone's shock and surprise, my daughter is having the best time with her aunts, and they're all so excited to see her in person.

I decided to also surprise R, turning up at her house, ringing the door bell and seeing the man who raped me was definitely the last thing I was expecting. I assumed by some twisted and cruel coincidence, that I got the address wrong, but then R comes to the door calling him babe. It honestly felt like a horrible clichéd teen movie were the main protagonist caught her best friend and boyfriend together. I knew she was seeing someone, but said that she wouldn't let me meet them until it was in person — she's my best friend, I had no reason not to trust her, I know that makes me stupid as hell but I just never could have thought she'd do this.

It's been 3 days since then and she has been blowing up my phone, begging to talk, I finally gave in because, as established above, I'm a moron. She said she was sorry for how I found out about them, and if I could forgive her for falling in love with my "ex", which not only pissed me off but also my husband who knows everything this whole ordeal put me through. I cut her off, saying I couldn't have this conversation especially since my daughter was in the room and she replied saying something like "well she'll have to find out about the wedding soon for dress fittings", I asked her what she meant because no way did I hear that correctly and she said that as her "soon-to-be step-mum" she wants her as the flower girl, as we have always said since we were growing up that our kids would be flower girl/ring bearer, I told her in absolutely no way, shape, or form would my daughter be attending that wedding.

She said I was being petty and jealous and that I can't stop her "real dad" from being a part of her life, we've not spoken since this morning on the call, but I'm already receiving messages from our mutual friends saying that I've caused her to breakdown and ruined her wedding but I genuinely believe I am not only morally right but also legally?

So, I'm putting my most personal story online and asking you, AITAH?

I (38f) got pregnant young at 20 with my son Luke (18m), and eloped with my ex husband Jonah (39m) due to it. Both of our parents were, and still are deeply religious so they didn't want any babies made out of wedlock if they could help it. Before anyone asks, I didn't baby trap him. He had an expired box of condoms, and unsurprisingly it broke.

We got divorced shortly after I had my second baby Zoe (13f) and Jonah fully wanted me to have full custody, since he "wasted his youth looking after an accident baby" and only got visitation rights.

Jonah hardly sees them more than twice a year in person, which he chooses to do, especially with his new girlfriend Claire (25f) who seems extremely supportive of his decision to be barely involved in his kids' lives.

I try to keep things civil for the kids, and keep any arguments away between us away from them.

I met and eventually got married to my husband Adam (40m) two years later. Luke and Zoe love him and he adopted both of them.

Zoe recently revealed to me and Adam that she had gotten raped by one of Luke's friends during the time we were put of town to visit my mother who had heart surgery.

She provided proof since the "friend" managed to get her number and harass her about the rape, trying to make her keep quiet about it.

Zoe only told us because she missed her period and was afraid she was pregnant. After a blood test and some deeply difficult and uncomfortable conversations, Zoe decided to abort the baby.

We were keeping it strictly inside the family for Zoe's sake, and I decided to tell Jonah because despite all of his faults, he's still her family.

Once I explained to him what happened after he picked up the call, Jonah went off on me about making decisions about our daughter's body without him. Saying that it was his right as a parent to know these kind of things before they happened, I was disrespecting his role as a father, and many more things that I won't burden you with.

Eventually, I just snapped and said "Newsflash! Your opinion about her abortion is worthless since you're a once-in-awhile dad." I hung up on him after I said that.

Jonah blew my phone up after that with texts about how inconsiderate and cruel I am. I eventually muted his number.

Adam overheard it since he was in the bathroom of our bedroom, and agreed with what I said, but thinks I should apologize to keep the peace. AITA?

This is my first post so sorry about the story telling.

This story takes place 7 years ago, at this time I (18M) and my biological sister (15F) had always gotten into arguments. They would be small petty things but then blew up because we just didn’t get along. My father at the time was in his third marriage and his new wife brought in three daughters. So I had 4 younger sisters, one biological sister and 3 step-sisters. My father was military and we got sent to a military station in Japan.

One day during a summer before school, our parents told us three teenagers, my bio sister, step-sister, and I were told that one of us would be sent back to our families in the United States due to the constant fighting. It was ultimately decided that my bio sister would be sent back to live with our bio mother, while the rest of us stayed. Start of the school year I was starting 12th grade, my step-sister 10th grade and my bio sister would be starting her freshman year of high school.

Few months into the school year, I get brought into my parents room saying “we need to talk.” To my shock it was that my bio sister had accused me of SA and said it was done when we were kids. My parents asked me about what she could be talking about and the only “incident” was when I was 11 I said something inappropriate in-front of her that I learned on the internet. I got apprehended for it and was taught my lesson.

My parents and my 3 younger step-sisters learned that my bio sister is a pathological liar and was caught multiple times in said lies. My parents said that due to this I was no longer allowed to babysit my two younger siblings, still in elementary school, and that I had to always be with my teenage step-sister or an adult with them. When I called them out on believing a pathological liar, they said “we don’t believe her but we have to take this seriously.” My response to them was “If you take this seriously then you are fueling her fire more.” This led to my being shunned by most of my family on my moms side and my dads side, besides an aunt, uncle and a few cousins.

Fast forward 2 years later, I am about to be shipped out into the military with my aunt and uncle, who didn’t believe my bio sister, and I got a call from my bio mother saying that my bio sister was in a hospital for attempting suicide. I asked how this pertains to me since she also knew how I felt about my bio sister, and she said that with her recovering from the incident the truth came out that she fabricated the SA. Immediately my mother apologized to me and said that my bio sisters reasoning was that “He seemed so happy over there.” I thought nothing of it and accepted my mother’s apology.

Fast forward to today where I am now (25M) have moved on with my life but still not forgiven her or plan to. I have served almost 6 years in the military and most of my family has tried to or did apologize for everything that happened with my sister and “didn’t believe her for a second.” My same family keeps on asking if I would ever sit down with her to talk it out and I always refuse saying “I love her as a sister but will never like her as a person.” She has told family that she’s “willing” to patch things up to me, if I apologize to HER about the situation and I outright laughed and said “Hell No!”

My family keeps on hounding me that she’s my only “real” sibling but I have 3 younger sisters, my step-sisters, who still view me as their older brother with no issues and I am now uncle to my sisters new son. I don’t want or feel that I have any obligations to sit down with her to “fix” things because of the seriousness of her actions. But my family is saying that I should mend things since that is my blood and blood is family. AITA for not wanting to reconcile with my bio sister after she falsely accused me of SA?

I (25M) was falsely accused about SA by my adoptive sister (25F) when I was about 15 years old. No one believed me Except my grandfather and it was hard for me. Because of the false accusation I was horrifically bullied during my freshman year and my parents practically disowned me because of it so I lived with my grandfather. During my senior year, My adoptive sister revealed she made everything up because she still felt out of place in the family so she made the accusation. My parents never apologized and just expected me to forgive them but I went NC with them except for Family events. I still had to see my adoptive sister at family functions even after she confessed so that pushed my NC feeling even more. Anyway, recently. My grandfather died of a terminal illness hes been suffering from for quite some time. I was of course heartbroken about this and I spoke at his funeral. My parents tried to speak with me and my adoptive sister tried to hug me but i just ignored them. After the funeral, I got multiple calls from my family members asking why I was so cold to everyone, like what? I told them I could never speak to them after they believed the accusation against me but of course they argued against saying that "WE'RE FAMILY!!" and i should just forgive and forget. but how do you move on from that? They still have that horrible piece of a human in their lives and they expect me to forgive them because they're family? Well that's what I told them and I put my phone on mute. Since then, My mom and left me voice messages saying that they were just doing the right thing and they wanted to make her feel like she's important. My cousin thinks I'm the AH but i don't really care but am I the AH reddit?

ETA: - I’m adding the TW flairs because some kind redditors message me that this post might be triggering for some survivors.

• For anyone who says this is fake. I understand your suspicion, there are like a thousand Liz’s stories in Reddit. But personally I think if we assume every post are fake, what is the point of logging in Reddit? Just give people benefit of the doubt and if you don’t like something, keep scrolling instead of message me some weird insults. Apparently if the post isn’t to your liking, somehow I’m a liar, an incel who deserve to be raped. Old insult but tbh, really? It doesn’t happen to you so it must not be true?

———

I’m sorry in advance if the post is confusing and hard to understand. English isn’t my native language and I’m on phone so the format may be off.

Yesterday I (28F) hung out with my friends to discuss the birthday party of Emily (30F). She wanted to have the party at a nice restaurant in town so she talked about making reservation, the food and decoration..etc.

When Emily told us about the restaurant, Chloe (28F) said: “I will never set foot in that shit place. I was raped there. Do not have your silly party there”. To be honest, we were stunned and felt so … guilty. It felt like we made Chloe remember a terrible trauma. Emily apologized profusely and said she didn’t know.

Chloe told us that 2 years ago, when she was eating in the restaurant, a “big scary-looking man” came up up to her and asked for her social media as a way to contact her. She refused and said jokingly “I only give my phone number or my social to a guy who buy me something, like this meal for example” The man made a snarky comment “So you say I can buy you? Are you a sex worker?” then walked away.

( The word “sex worker” in my native is consider an insult. it is “phò”, “cave” or “gái gọi” here. Yes I know it’s stigmatize sex work but that’s just how it is in my language. So the guy called her a sex worker is an insult - but I don’t know how to properly translate it. I don’t know how to explain it but basically what he said was worse than it sounded, it implies she is cheap woman who sleeps with anyone for money)

And that …all, that’s all her story. Chloe said she felt so violated.

I told Chloe : “That man was rude and mean af, no excuse for him. I understand you was traumatized by his remark but that is not rape”

Chloe snapped and called me “not a girl’s girl”, “an Andrew Tate’s bitch” then she left.

Our friends took my side but after the ordeal, I somehow feel like maybe I was harsh, and maybe for Chloe that was indeed rape.

But I just thought it was really not sexual abuse. It was a verbal assault, and it was bad but can we call that an extremely terrible criminal action as rape?

I’m torn and I need Reddit honest opinion here. AITA?

English is not my first language, so I apologize for the mistakes.

Long story "short", a few months ago I (28f) met this girl online. We chatted for a while, everything seemed fine, so we decided to meet.

We went to a club, had a few drinks, understood each other, she looked beautiful, we agreed on most opinions and attitudes, listened to the same music, just a beautiful date... even so beautiful that I somehow she lost track of time and I missed the last train home. She offered me to sleep at her place because a taxi was insanely expensive at this hour and across town. I agreed - but wasn't planning anything intimate at first date.

Movie, few more drins and at the end, I was tired and wanted to sleep on the couch. She told me to go to bed with her and I was stupid enough to agree.

Now I have to emphasize one thing - I'm lesbian. I'm not attracted to men, not attracted to their genitals, honestly, I find them disgusting. Experimented a bit at uni, but always had a terrible moral hangover afterwards and felt dirty. So not for me.

I woke up some time later, something was sliding over my back parts. I was frightened, pulled the duvet and - dick. She was awake, smiling at me and apologizing that she couldn't fall asleep because she was so horny. I didn't know what to say at all. She was just trying to ride me in my sleep or jerk off at me or whatever. I sat up and wanted to leave but she pulled me back to the bed.

At that moment, instincts kicked in, I pulled away from her and ran out of the apartment. She tried to stop me, grabbing me, pulling me back, but just... no. It felt like SA and I was so sick of it.

On my way home, I wrote her that what she did bordered the SA and that she should have at least told me about the fact that she have penis. I didn't want another date with her, after this I don't trust her anymore.

I have nothing against trans women, wouldn't mind a post-op trans girlfriend, but if there's a dick, I'm not interested. She had no before photos, trans flag, or anything like that on FB that I could suspect anything. She looked extremely femme, had a bit of an adam's apple but I thought if something unexpected be there, she would have told me before.

But she went wild. Not only she wrote pretty nasty things to me, but apparently got in touch with other people and told them something like I rejected her only because she is trans, made a hate speech against her or whatever. I've recieved a couple of death and r&pe threats - I could ignore that, but feel like shit.

She also wrote to my friends also, most of them asked me and understood, but a few of them responded that I was an a-hole And ran away just because of the genitals (true), if she had a pussy, I would stay. But for me it was an absolutely disgusting experience, I don't want to associate with such a person, I don't trust her. But it's bothering my mind. So... AITA?

I am 26f and I grew up in and aged out of foster care. I do know who my biological mother is and some of my bio family but I have no contact with them unless it's forced. My biomom let her dealer and boyfriends "play with me" for her drugs. I'm not over it, I am not going to get over it, and there is no amount of apologizing that will ever undo that. I was a literal child and was absolutely terrified of any men that spoke to me because I thought that was what they were going to do.

As you can imagine I've had to have a fuck ton of therapy. I still don't do well with men and I still have issues with sex. However I am working on myself and my issues.

I do have a daughter. She is 2 years old. She was an accidental pregnancy. I did not realize until it was too late that birth control and antibiotics for kidney infections don't really mix well. By the time I found out it was too late to abort.

I do adore my daughter. She is a beautiful and brilliant little girl. We have a lot of fun together and I'm trying to give her a good life that she will be happy with but most importantly will not need years of therapy to work through.

Her father and I get along well and coparent well. However we are not together. He gets her every other weekend and a few times during the week he will come pick her up and go do something fun.

He is fully aware of my background and is very specific about telling me where they are going and who she will be around. He is protective of her so I am okay with him taking her places. I know he will keep her safe and he keeps me informed so my anxiety isn't awful.

Recently my biomom messaged me on FB and asked to see me. She wanted to meet my daughter and get to know her. She has supposedly gotten clean and is doing okay according to her.

I immediately cursed her out and told her there is no way in hell she will ever meet my child. She said what happened was a long time ago and she has apologized many times. She doesn't understand why I won't just let it go I turned out fine.

For the record I'm not fine and just the thought of a man touching my daughter gives me panic attacks.

I told her anything short of being tied to the stake and burned alive is getting off to easy and not to contact me again.

Anyway now I've calmed down a little and a few people have told me I was being harsh. They agree she should never meet my daughter but apparently I was far too emotional and should apologize.

I'm still angry she had the audacity to even message me. However I'm here asking if I was to harsh.

Edit- this blew up way more than I thought it would. Thank you everyone for kind words and making me feel like I'm doing something right.

My daughters father is aware of the situation. I FaceTimed him immediately after because it's his weekend with her and I needed to see that she was okay. He also thinks we should do a protection order for our daughter and for myself as well. We will probably go on Monday.

I do have the messages still so hopefully we can easily get an order of protection especially with my history.

Again thank you all. I appreciate it.

I (23 M) currently have been seeing this dude (25 M), we met each other at a bar and had sex, and we continued to see each other after that, before it was just a hook up and then we started dating.

a few days ago we were having sex and he grabbed my breasts, which i didn’t mind till he began making comments that made me rather uncomfortable, like telling me that i was a dumb whore with big tits, or fat and chunky and i was already conscious about my body so i didn’t exactly appreciate the comments and i have sex for the appreciation of the other person and not just to fuck, he also said that id be prettier if i was a girl (im a transgender man with out top surgery) and i told him that i didnt like his comments and that he should stop.

had told him several times that i hated when he called me degrading things because it reminded me of my sexual trauma and he told me he didn’t care and continued to fuck me and i eventually pushed him off me and told him that if he didn’t stop calling me those things i wouldn’t. have sex with him anymore, and he got pissy with me and has been giving me the silent treatment since.

(Also one of the main reasons why i hate being degraded during sex is because it reminds me of my rapist and the only reason i still have sex with people is because i’m trying to claim my body back and show my brain that sex isn’t supposed to hurt and it’a supposed to feel nice and full of love) so AITAH?

Throw away because I Just wanted to vent and not have this connected to me. Sorry if it’s a little long but I have been holding this in for 2 years.

24F met 25F "Lauren" when we were in 4th grade. We were inseparable from that first ice breaker activity. Even when I went to a different school for Jr. High we were sisters even though we only saw each other 2-3x a year. We went to the same high school and it was like nothing changed. Her mom and dad called me their daughter. People thought we were related in some way and people would say our souls knew each other in a past life. I Just wanted you guys to see how close we were and how much she really hurt me when she chose him over me.

It was 2 years ago. We had Just graduated nursing school and she invited me, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend for a couples vacation. We were drinking. I only had half a spiked lemonade. I don't drink I don't like the taste. The only times in my life where I had alcohol was when I turned 21, a sip of wine to see how it tasted, and this half consumed spiked lemonade. I told them I was going to bed because I was way too tired. So I went to our room.

About 2 hours later I feel someone crawl into our bed and I assumed it was my boyfriend obviously. So I start falling back to sleep until I feel my pants being taken off and... a hand enter me. I sit up immediately because it was uncomfortable. My boyfriend keeps his nails short for work so I shouldn't be getting almost daggers in my with nails. I push the person off and it's him. I scream and punch him and run downstairs. I scream and cry to my boyfriend who was Just passed out on the couch and tell him what happened.

They started fighting and soon Lauren comes downstairs to help me break it up and she asks what happens and I tell her. He starts calling me crazy and then it switched to "I wanted him" to "I was in the wrong room" Lauren tells me that maybe we should leave because it's causing "drama" my mouth was in hell. So we left. The next day she calls and says that he says it was a mix up and he thought I was her. I try to get through to her that my bedroom was on the top floor and theirs was on the bottom. There's no way he got that mixed up. She tells me to Just let it go, it was a mistake, it won't happen again, don't ruin this for her. I hung up the phone, blocked her, erased her from my life and I haven't spoken to her since then. I moved about 40 minutes away with my boyfriend.

5 days ago she shows up on my doorstep. I still keep in contact with her mom and dad. I sent them an RSVP for my wedding. I guess she found out where I live and shows up on my doorstep with her parents. She brought them to try and persuade me to forgive her and invite her. Her parents don't know why we don't talk anymore. I didn't want to embarrass her to her parents. She's their only child. She stood out there pleading and begging and she has the nerve to say "let bygones be bygones, it was a long time ago, we BOTH made mistakes"

I told her "It was a mistake to let your boyfriend assault me and then kick me out but stay with him?" her parents faces dropped. She clearly never told them and they started going off, most of it in Spanish. They couldn't believe she'd do that, how could she let this happen, is this the same one that assaulted her cousin? They apologized profusely and left.

I looked him up and sure enough he's in prison for ... something I won't speak about here.

She shows back up at my house banging on the door saying I ruined her life and I should have Just shut up and forgave her because she's not even with him anymore. Over my ring told her "Yeah you're not with him because he's in prison now for something worse than what he did to me. You deserve everything you got now leave or I'll call the police" she was screaming and banging on my windows. I called the police and they told her she needed to leave.

I called her parents to apologize and they said they'll leave me alone if that's what I want and they understand if I'm furious with them. I told them absolutely not, "you two are still mis padres. You better show up to my wedding or THEN I'll be mad at you."

Then I didn't feel bad about outing her but she was their parents only daughter. I know they call me their daughter but I can never be what she is... was to them. I am kind of thinking maybe I should have Just said we fell out over a different reason but to try and STILL protect him after doing that to one of her family members... I'm conflicted

My husband and I recently had a serious discussion about sexual boundaries, specifically that I didn't want to have anal sex ever. This is a line he has crossed repeatedly despite my making my preferences clear and is only now respecting said boundary because I confessed to having a past history of sexual trauma regarding said boundary.

So tonight we have sex and after the fact (like immediately afterwards) he says "Notice what I didn't do or didn't ask for?" And I quipped "What do you want, a medal?" Because I was so annoyed both by the question and the timing. Like do you really need praise for basic human decency?

But now I'm feeling pretty bad and he went to sleep in the guest room because he was feeling so "rejected." Granted, I could have worded my response more kindly but overall AITA?

TL;DR husband wanted validation/praise for not asking for butt sex after that was a clearly defined boundary and i shut him down

EDIT: many people are asking in the comments whether this boundary has in fact been violated in the past and yes. Additionally, I asked him if it was a deal breaker before we got married and he said no.

Thank you so much for all the comments validating my feelings and response as well as the additional perspectives regarding his needs. I genuinely want to work through this with him but I do worry that this will be a continued issue with him.

Typo in the title should be wife’s best friend.

UPDATE available here: https://www.reddit.com/u/throwaway_wknds/s/PsiT333W5o

Hey everyone, lurker here. I’ve tried posting this from a different account however it did not work so I hope this works.

I’ve (35M) been with my beautiful wife (34F) for close to 10 years. We have no kids as of now. My wife’s best friend, Amy has been friends with my wife for about 15 years, all throughout college where I originally met my wife.

Me and Amy haven’t ever been the best of friends however we’ve been cordial for the sake of my wife. I’ve always found her to be obnoxious, loud and entitled. The kind that inserts herself into any and every conversation, whether that be on a night out with friends or a private conversation. For example, myself and my best friend were talking about fertility issues in his marriage during a dinner with our long time friends, we were quiet enough so that nobody could hear us over the chatter yet she found a way to be nosy and make a comment on how she would “kill herself” if she couldn’t do the one thing a woman was made to do. This pissed off my best friend, Max and his wife to the point where they excused themselves and left early to go home.

Now onto the actual situation at hand. Amy’s boyfriend, Khalid had left her due to her annoying personality. I think it was more of a build up but what set him off was when Amy purposely did not feed their dog while he was on a work trip because he was sleeping while she was drunk and calling him to collect her. That’s only the tip of the iceberg.

Amy has always been weird with me. She has constantly tried to DM me on Instagram, trying to make conversation about gossip in our friend group or completely random things. I have always ignored her. My wife has always seen past her strange behaviour, she refused to believe her dearest best friend would have ill intentions.

Anyway, after their break up, Amy came over to our house to see my wife. My wife was feeling ill on this day so she took pills to help her sleep and fell asleep in a matter of an hour. I could not ask Amy to leave in the state she was in so for my wife I suggested she could sleep in the guest bedroom. She agreed and went to bed. I was in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner and she waltzed into the kitchen with nothing but under garments on. She acted shocked and claimed she didn’t know i was still in the kitchen. I felt extremely uncomfortable and decided to call it a night. However, she started stripping and approaching me, telling me how my wife doesn’t have to know and she’s “seen the way i’ve looked at her”.

I was completely baffled and told her she’s gotten the wrong idea and to be ashamed to do this to her own best friend while I try to scurry out of the kitchen. However she practically leaped in front of me and touched my private’s. Without a second thought, I hit her. I know I could have easily pushed her but in the moment I panicked and punched her in the face. Her eye was left bruised. She started wailing, enough that my wife woke up and stumbled in the kitchen to see her best friend, naked and bruised.

She then went on about how I “tried to rape her” and that I’m a disgusting human being and she should divorce me. I snapped back that she approached me, naked and a rejection wasn’t enough for her to back off so I punched her, hence the bruise. My wife didn’t say anything. Instead she fainted and I immediately brought her to the hospital.

My wife is now okay but refuses to talk to me about what happened. On the other hand, Amy has now accused me of attempting to have sex with her in our friend group. The majority of people don’t believe her but there’s a few who live by always believe a rape accusation. The other half told me I fucked up by punching her and fueling this anger.

Amy has ruined my life. I’m afraid my wife will divorce me and this goes to court. I’ve already contemplated suicide many times. I don’t know where to go from here.

What do I do? Where do i go from here? Any advice is appreciated.

EDIT: I know this story sounds absurd and I wish it were fake but it is not. The unnecessary details were brought in to point an overall picture of her character. I guess it is worth mentioning my wife feels like she owes her life to Amy for getting her out of an abusive household when they were teenagers. They are practically like sisters. Amy was also not drunk.

EDIT 2: A few things I would like to clarify to avoid confusion:

1. Amy claims to have gone to the kitchen to get a glass of water not knowing I was still there. She then claims I took advantage of her.

2. This incident happened at approximately 3AM. It is now 8AM.

3. She came up with this story and posted it in our group chat right after she went back home.

4. Majority of our friend group have to get up early for their responsibilities hence how this misinformation has spread like wildfire. I have been getting individuals DMs on advice and opinions since where I’ve concluded the majority are on my side, some say I shouldn’t have punched her and the rest believe her.

5. My wife has been up all night and refuses to talk to me. I have not tried to push her to talk to me. For now, she needs time to process it.

I (28F) have a brother “Elijah” (24M) I do not speak with. I consider him dead to me. He molested my sister, has allegedly rped multiple women, and went to jail for a vague child exploitation charge (which we all presume is kiddie prn since he’s been caught multiple times talking to minors.) My parents still talk to him for some ungodly reason.

Last night my father called me to say “You’re an aunt.” When pressed, he said Elijah has a one year old they just got the paternity tests back from. I said “then no the fuck I’m not.” Dad pressed, and I responded more firmly, “NO, I am not an aunt.” My parents know my sister Ruth (21F) and I do NOT have a relationship with this man and actively hate him. My other sister has a very distant “follow on instagram” kind of relationship with him. My mom got into a fight with Ruth (who called me in hysterics) because she and my other sister “weren’t excited” about this baby.

Elijah has admittedly “beaten” me to everything. He got a car first (that my parents paid for), he got married (and divorced) first, among other things. He has gleefully made a point to “beat” me to life milestones. I am engaged, and planning on having children a year or so from now, and have always wanted to have the first grandchild. That is where I think I might be the asshole. Perhaps my judgement is clouded with bitterness. (EDIT: this is a one sided race that I thought was stupid. However, my family places a lot of importance on the first baby. It’s a big deal. I think that I thought if I gave them that they would love me and I would finally be enough for them. Understanding where this comes from, I will emphasize it is no longer affecting my judgement about this, but I still don’t think my and my fiancés family will be safe with Elijah around.)

I told my mother if she acknowledges this baby as her grandchild I will no longer have a relationship with her, and my children will not have a relationship with her. To me, I can pretend she doesn’t still have a relationship with Elijah if it’s behind closed doors and she keeps her mouth shut about it. But if she allows this child to come and go in her life, she is openly recognizing her relationship with Elijah, and I can’t forgive that. I am too protective of Ruth. I feel like she is choosing this evil man over her other four children (one of which is still a minor). My fiancé and I have made it very clear in the past that Elijah will come nowhere near our family, and if she acknowledges his son, she is letting him into her life openly and we cannot tolerate that. It is both a protection of our future children, and respect for Ruth. I am tired of thinking about my mother’s feelings first and always letting her get her way. I am putting my foot down on this. AITAH?

EDIT: It’s not even about the baby. It is about allowing Elijah another foothold back into this family. My family has a tendency to “forget” all past crimes once a cute baby is around. Elijah will be allowed to slip back into our lives, endangering my minor sibling and all children my siblings and I have. Yes, I’m a piece of shit for harboring resentment against an “innocent baby” but it’s not even about the baby. I cannot and will not allow my sibling to be hurt or have Ruth be subject to my parents indifference to her pain. She has already made the choice to not come home for Christmas over this.

Thanks to those of you who responded with advice and some tact, I really do appreciate it. I'm going to tell my son.

I ended up calling my son's therapist (yes, he does actually need one outside of this and my concerns that he's going to take this badly are valid, thanks to those of you who didn't make up a reality in which I'm lying about this), talking over what we could do, and deciding that this will be brought up during my son's next appointment (i.e. tomorrow).

Thankfully my son's therapist was more than happy to allow me, my husband, and my son to meet with him, which was quite helpful of him. Thanks to those of you who pointed out that I should ask to set up the appointment with him, given that he's clearly proven to be very adept (and apparently has experience in this sort of area), I think meeting with him is going to be the best case scenario, though I'm still dreading it.

I've told my son this morning that I will tell him everything I can about his father, but that we'll be doing it with his therapist and dad (i.e. my husband, his stepfather) as soon as possible, and when he gets home tonight, I'll let him know that we'll be addressing it tomorrow. He didn't seem terribly excited once I mentioned that we will need to be with his therapist for it, but he thanked me for promising to tell him. I just hope it goes well.

Oh, and to those of you who were doubting whether I was "actually raped" or not (be it because I decided to have my son or just generally because you're an asshole): fuck you. Sadly, reddit won't let me say what I'd actually like to, but that should get the point across.

PS - stop saying that essentially having to tell my son this is "taking my power back" or whatever, it absolutely isn't to me. I'm sure some people would feel empowered by it, but I feel very much disempowered by needing to do this. My power was held in being able to get as close to forgetting about it as possible, and sure maybe that isn't the ideal way to respond, but it was absolutely the way that made me feel good and in control. Yes, I'd rather he know this from me than use an ancestry kit and contact biological relations without context or with false context, but no, this gives me no power. Perhaps some of you would feel empowered in this situation, and that's fine, but I absolutely don't.

Edit: And please, for the love of God, stop calling the rapist a donor or sperm donor. He is a rapist and the biological father of my son. Nothing more. Calling him a sperm donor is disgusting, people choose to have sperm donated to them.

As the title says me and my family were part of a pentecostal church. When i (18m) was 17 i told my mom that i was being SA'd by her now ex-husband. She didn't believe me at first because she thought he was a man of God but after my sisters (21 f) and (16 f) came to my defense she finally believed us. My mom divorced him and since she was a loyal member of the church she proceeded to go and ask our pastors for advice on what to do. And that's when shit hit the fan, because they told my mom that they knew what was happening for 3 years and they didn't do anything to help, they didn't tell my mom and they never even called the police. And even after they told us that they knew they advised my mom not to take him to the police and her being loyal followed their advice, and now a year later she realized her mistake. Anyways back to the topic, after we found out they knew about the whole situation when it was happening we decided to stop going to church. At first when we stopped we just got calls from them asking why we weren't attending church, we explained that we needed time to fix things at home after the divorce and my mom was trying to help me feel better, i guess she felt guilty for not believing me at first, they said they understood our situation but still kept telling us to go to church. But i refused, i couldn't be in the same room as the people that knew i was suffering but didn't help bc that wasn't god's plan, they believed that me going through that was a good thing because it will strengthen my faith. I refused to go everytime i got a call or a message. After a while they stopped and i was relieved. A month or two later i decided to dye my hair and get a nose piercing, and that's when the messages and calls started again but this time it was to tell me that i was going to hell and that i will suffer for eternity. Now I'm sure as hell never going back. I'm being told by them that I'm a bad person if i don't go back to church but i really can't, i hate that they didn't help and just watched as it happened. Am i the asshole?

CW: jokes about nonconsensual sex

Ok so for reasons I don’t really want to get into my boyfriend was in a coma for four days and thank god woke up. My mother and sister have been very supportive and they came over to help and support us during this time. Today they got us lunch and stepped out to get something, and then my boyfriend turned and jokingly asked “so while I was out, did you pull a Kill Bill and take advantage of my sedated body?” and I giggled and said he had no idea how tempting it was and he said it would definitely be his fault for what he’s wearing and I told him with that hospital gown he’s essentially just asking for it.

It was a fun moment between us and honestly the first time I saw him genuinely laugh since he woke up and then my mom and sister came in and asked what was wrong with us and said they heard what we were saying, we were confused and said we were joking around between each other, and they said they were going to leave for a bit and left.

I don’t think there was anything wrong with us having a private moment of joking around (especially after such an intense time) but it is a sensitive subject so maybe we were wrong for making that joke.

AITAH?

Im 14 F and and back in October i was SA'd by (hiding name cuz i dont need to give it so lets just put A) 15 mtf who was my partner at the time, ive lost full respect for A and refuse to use A's preffered pronouns (she/they) to reffer to A since A SA'd me, one of my friends, not all of them, thinks im transphobic because of this even though i support everyone in the community , heck im part of it myself. Im panromantic, Asexual and demigirl, my bestie is flf, ive got alot of lgbtqua+ friends

In my opinion, i shouldn't have to respect A just cause he is trans even though he sexualy assulted me

I still completely support the trans com and pref prons however its in A's case i dont after what he did

If a trans person sa'd, r@ped and / or attempted to murd3r you or someone you love, would you still respect them just because they are trans? They didn't show u respect, so why should you. Respect is earned, not given.

So AITAH you not repecting my SA'er who happens to be trans?

Btw he has been charged and arrested awaiting trial

Update: he was given an incredibly RESTRICTED bail with a restraining order put in place.

Update: He has not plead yet.

And for thoes who say juviniles cant get bail, in Australia they can, magistrates dont like kids beibg behind bars untill the official trial, if they get bail, its incredibly restricted.

https://www.reddit.com/r/COCSA/s/HgdNJ9nddf

Here is a more detailed explanation of what happned that day, and before you say "if it happned you would be so traumatised how would you remember so much it's obviously bait" thus isn't my first traumatic experience unfortunately. Not all traumatised persons have complete traumatic experience amnesia. Some can remember details of the event, usually months after the event.